


You Could Be Happy

by samuraipizzacat



Category: Momoland (Band), NCT (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-10-07 01:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17356805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samuraipizzacat/pseuds/samuraipizzacat
Summary: A short story about the times they loved each other and the times they didn't. YeonNaen. Angst. Completed.





	1. Street Lights

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't even finished my other fic, and I already started another because of all the freaking feelings I've been getting lately from our drought...please support it UwU~
> 
> Fair warning...it's gonna be YeonNaen angst with some implied 'mature' stuff

_April 2018, the dorms_

 

Yeonwoo woke as she heard a faint knock on her door. She groggily opened one eye and took a peak at her wall clock ‘What the hell? It’s 02:37 in the bloody morning…’ she inwardly groaned as she sluggishly dragged the duvet cover away from her body

 

“This better be good” she mumbled under her breath as she forced her legs to drag her away from the warm comforts provided by her beautiful bed. She slowly made her way towards the entrance of her room, making the most out of the low glow the street lights emitted through the gaps tiny in her blinds. She tried her best not to stumble on the mess of clothes she had made on the floor.

 

When she pulled her door open she was suddenly fully awakened by the sight of Nancy barging into her room

 

“What-”

 

“Shut the door close” Nancy cut the older girl off with a command.

 

 Yeonwoo chuckled, a bewildered look spread across her face as she responded “Excuse me??”

 

Nancy simply countered by unwrapping the scarf around her neck, shrugging it off with her coat to the floor in one fell swoop. She crossed her arms around herself, her hands clutching the hem of her sweater, quickly pulling it off her torso, and carelessly throwing it to join the disarray that already exist below her.

 

The dark-haired beauty could only respond by frantically shutting her door close as she shrieked at the younger girl in a whisper “What do you think you’re doing?!?”

 

“Keep it down, the others are already asleep” the brunette coolly replied, left in nothing but a pink satin camisole, jeans and her foot socks.

 

 “Baby Nancy, I swear, I don’t know what’s going on, but we can talk about it in the morning. Please just head to your room and go to sleep. And try not to wake JooE while you’re at it” Yeonwoo bent to grab the tan knit sweater from the floor. She presented it in front of the younger girl, while keeping her eyes downcast. She suddenly felt it firmly being pushed out of her hand, landing back into the disarray of clothing that had piled up on top of the wooden tiles. The statuesque beauty looked up to see the younger girl furrowing her brows as she intently stared back at her.

 

“No.” Nancy was unyielding as she toed her foot socks off. “You told me we could do this as soon as I became an adult. You said you’d make me a woman. I’m 18 now. So let’s do it.”

 

A disbelieving scoff escaped Yeonwoo’s lips “You know I was kidding around right? You know how it goes – we mess around and say sappy shit like that. I just got carried away that one night because I had a little too much to drink, but it wasn’t anything that wasn’t a part of our job. Don’t let it get to your head, kid.”

 

“Oh, I’ve seen the way you look at me” Nancy popped her jean button open, slowly dragging her zipper, playfully pulling on one of her belt loops down to reveal hints of rose lace “especially when you think no one’s looking.” She shimmied her pants off until she was in nothing but a matching pair of salmon-colored satin and lace

 

Yeonwoo suddenly felt like such a potato in her Luffy PJs.

 

“And trust me, I know that it’s no joke” the young girl slowly catwalked towards her raven-haired senior, who could do nothing but lean back against the door for support.

 

Yeonwoo pinched the bridge of her nose as she shut her eyes close “Look, even then…it’s still wrong. You’re baby Nancy…”

 

“I’m not a baby anymore!” the younger girl huffed

 

“And our company doesn’t allow any of us to even date…” the raven haired girl uncomfortably shifted her eyes to the side

 

“Who said anything about dating?” the brunette locked her hands behind her senior’s neck “I want you, you want me. We’re both adults now. It’s really not that complicated, Dabin” Nancy whispered against the older girl’s lips

 

Yeonwoo would be lying if she said that the way the American beauty said her real name didn’t send shivers down her spine. She moved her hand behind her to push the lock in. “You know no one can know, right? Not even the other girls. Not even JooE, not even Daisy, and epecially not Hyebin.”

 

“I wouldn’t tell a soul” Nancy solemnly answered back.

 

“And you know nothing’s ever gonna come out of this, right?

 

“I know” a gentle nod was given back.

 

The older girl could only shake her head, chortling in incredulity “I can’t believe it…I’m supposed to be your unnie.”

 

“You’re not my sister, you’re just a little older that’s all…” Nancy quietly snaked her hand from Yeonwoo’s neck towards the older girl’s wrist

 

“I’m still your senior…I should be guiding you to do what’s right.”  The raven-haired beauty sighed

 

“So…” the brunette slid Yeonwoo’s hand under her camisole, the older girl’s palm laid flat against her bare stomach. She earnestly looked up at the statuesque vixen as she murmured “guide me.”

 

It didn’t take long for Yeonwoo’s free hand to grab the back of Nancy’s neck, to crash the two pairs of lips that had so desperately wanted to touch.


	2. Hello, Sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated~~~ it's a happy chapter...hopefully it cheers you guys up

_May 2018, Aqua Resort Club Saipan_

 

Nancy’s tired eyes were so close to fully closing shut, as she sleepily made her way back to her room. As she closed the door behind her, she was quite surprised to see Yeonwoo seated on the chair by her hotel room’s window. The slats were opened, and what looked like a tiny yellow fruit was on the table next to her senior.

 

“How did you-“

 

“I stole the extra card key to your room from Hyebin” the vixen mischievously grinned back “So, how was your punishment?”

 

“As good as it could get I guess” the young girl yawned “…are you here to squeeze in some morning time smooshing? Because I swear, I can’t, I’m so beat right now, and we still have a long day later…”

 

Yeonwoo retorted, aghast “Do you seriously think that’s what I snuck in here for?!”

 

Nancy just raised an eyebrow as she shot back a knowing look.

 

The older girl puffed a long breath out as she muttered under her breath “I just wanted to see the sunrise with you, that’s all…”

 

The short haired girl could help but break into a gooey smile at her senior’s sentimentality. She made her way to take a seat on her senior’s lap, and followed it up by giving Yeonwoo’s nose a quick kiss “Okay, unnie. Let’s watch the rest of the sunrise together.”

 

Although the sunrise was over in a flash, the memory of being able to catch its beauty together ensured that it would etched into both of their hearts forever.

 

Yeonwoo gently rubbed her chin on Nancy’s shoulder, enjoying the way the younger girl’s bath robe felt against her face.

 

The younger girl couldn’t help but giggle at the action. She gently pushed her unnie back to stop the motion, and noticed the small odd fruit on the table again from the corner of her eye. She grabbed the strangely shaped produce and asked “What is this, unnie?”

 

“Ahhhhh” Yeonwoo tried to hold back the blush creeping into her face as she rubbed the back of her neck “it’s a star gooseberry.”

 

“Oh. Cool” Nancy studied the bumps on the fruit before returning it on the table “Why’d you bring me one? Is it good?”

 

“I found a couple by the beach yesterday, and I don’t know. I’ve actually never tried one myself, but I wanted to try it with you because…you know what? Never mind”

 

“Come on! Tell me!”

 

“It’s embarrassing!”

 

“Try me.”

 

Yeonwoo snuck a glance at the younger girl on her lap before taking a long deep breath “When I was younger…I played this video game. A part of it was set on a tropical island…just like this one. And on their island, they had this yellow star-shaped fruit” She could feel herself shaking a little bit, and breaking into a cold sweat. “…and the legend in the game was, If two people shared the fruit, their destinies would become intertwined. And they'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what. This fruit just kind of reminded me of the fruit in the game, except it’s like a really tiny version. But I still wanted to share it with you…”

 

Nancy had suddenly become very still and quiet.

 

“Look, I told you it was stupid. I should probably just go back to my room before Hyebin wakes up-“

 

Yeonwoo was cut off by a passionate kiss from her fiery junior. She tilted her head to give the younger girl better access to her mouth. It didn’t take long before their tongues started gently brushing against each other, their teeth biting into the other’s lips. Nancy ended the kiss, pulling back for air, but not before sweeping her tongue against the raven-haired beauty’s lower lip. She rested her forehead against the older girl’s “I want to share the star gooseberry with you, Dabin.”

 

The statuesque beauty’s eyes lit up as she took the fruit and put it in between their faces “let’s take a bite together?”

 

The short-haired girl let out fast, tiny nods expressing her excitement. They inched their lips closer to the fruit and bit into the grape sized-fruit at the same time, lips gently grazing onto each other.

 

Nancy coughed a bit before swallowing the bite she took in, while Yeonwoo scrunched up her face.

 

“How was it?” the older girl asked, her eye still twitching from the fruit’s overwhelming taste.

 

Nancy stuck her tongue out before shaking her head roughly “Too sour!!!”

 

Yeonwoo tried her best to keep it in, but end up bursting into a fit of giggles at their silliness. It didn’t take long for Nancy to follow shortly thereafter. When their laughter died down, the older girl longingly stared into the brunette’s hazelnut eyes, gingerly brushing a stray lock of hair behind younger girl’s ears. “I think I really should get going, baby girl. Call time’s in a little over an hour & a half, I still have to get ready, and Hyebin might come looking for me…”

 

The American girl abruptly stood up from the older girl’s lap, and sat on the bed, lightly pulling her unnie towards her “I know. But a 15-minute cuddle can’t hurt, right? Besides...it takes Hyebin forever to wake up anyway.”

 

“Alright” Yeonwoo slowly nodded, closing the slats with her free hand, before making herself comfortable on the bed, being the big spoon to Nancy’s little spoon.

 

Nancy felt the older girl’s nose nuzzle into her neck, and let out a small chuckle “Cut it out! It tickles!” she turned to face Yeonwoo, in hopes of escaping the little nuzzle attack. She was quite surprised to see the raven-haired beauty giving her an intense look “What’s wrong?”

 

“I really meant what I said last night you know.” Yeonwoo’s left hand reached to grab Nancy’s right “It wasn’t just because we were playing that silly kiss relay game, or because the cameras were rolling or just because you’re my friend…” she brought the younger girl’s hand in front of her lips, before closing her eyes to place a long, gentle kiss against its back “I love you…” she whispered “It’s dumb. I know it’s only been a few weeks, and I wish I could give you a reason why. But my mind just draws complete blanks…and I guess that’s what it means to truly love someone, you don’t need to have a reason to.” She continued “I love you for everything that you are. And I just want you to know that being with you has made me the happiest I’ve been by far.” Her eyes still tightly shut, her lips quivering at the sudden confession. She knew the deal. They were only supposed to be there to scratch each other’s itches. Feelings weren’t supposed to be part of the equation. But part of her knew going into this falling in love with the beautiful Nancy Jewel McDonie was inevitable.

 

Her declaration was met with silence.

 

Yeonwoo slowly opened her left eye to take a peek at her junior and jolted both eyes open when she saw the younger girl smirking back at her “What’s that cheeky smile for?”

 

“Nothing really. I’m just really happy everything went according to plan after I barged in your room as soon as I became an adult.” She haughtily replied

 

“What do you mean?” the older girl shot her a confused look

 

“What it means, dumb-dumb…” Nancy gave Yeonwoo a soft look before going on to give a gentle flick to the older girl’s forehead. “Is that I love you too. I loved you first. I’ve loved you for a long time now…and how this all started, was because somehow, I was hoping that you’d end up loving me too…” she shyly ended her sentence by kissing the spot she had flicked.

 

Yeonwoo was left with a bewildered smile before coming in to attack Nancy with more tickles “You little minx!!!”

 

The younger girl kicked and screamed through her bouts of laughter “HEY! HAHAHAHHA COME ON!!! HAHAHAHA STOP IT!!!! HAHAHAHAH CAN’T BREATHE!!!!”

 

Yeonwoo held both of Nancy’s hands over her head after she stopped the little ambush. “And that’s what you get for being so conniving!”

 

The brunette’s bathrobe had moved around quite a bit from all their wriggling, putting her neck, her shoulder, and a good part of her upper chest on display. Her robe’s part had also risen quite a bit, exposing her supple legs that glowed just like porcelain. And to top it all off, the pale blue chemise she was wearing underneath was peeking out. It really was quite the spectacle. She rubbed her legs together at the slight discomfort.

 

The older girl let out a soft growl and pulled back “Sorry, baby…you should rest up. You’re probably still really tired from getting up so early for your punishment. I’ll go back to my room now” Yeonwoo quickly stood up from the bed, but was stopped at the slight tug she felt at the back of her lounge shirt.

 

Nancy nervously bit her lip before asking “What’s 15 more minutes…right?”

 

“Well, if you insist…” The vixen let out a foxy grin before diving back into the brunette’s bed.


	3. Goodbye Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said it’d be short, and that I’d update frequently, and that it wouldn’t even get in the way of CP, but ahhhhh real life obligations always get in the way :< ...starts off happy...but y’all already knew the angst would begin here...

_19 June 2018, bus en route to Haneda Airport_

 

Yeonwoo tried to stifle a yawn as she made her way on to the bus. It took her a while to wake Hyebin up, so she and their leader were the last ones to board due to all their delayed last-minute packing. She could see most of the other members seated in pairs as they tried to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep, and broke into a cheeky grin when she saw a set of blue-green hair seated alone at the back of the bus. She tried her best to keep quiet as she skipped down the aisle and took a seat next to the snoozing baby.

 

The statuesque beauty craned her head to check that Hyebin had taken a seat right behind the bus driver, and that their leader pulled her hat over her eyes so she could continue dozing off. Everyone else seemed to be in a state of deep sleep, or was at least making efforts to get there, and there weren’t any occupants in the seats on their row on the other side of the aisle. The bus driver had started the engine, and departed for the airport. The dark haired vixen broke into a sly smile and decided to take advantage of the opportunity that had presented itself.

 

Yeonwoo bit her lip in an effort not to giggle at Nancy’s soft snores, and gently pushed some of the younger girl’s hair behind her left ear. The older girl took a minute to take in all of the greenette’s exposed beauty, in all her slumbering splendor. She had always found Nancy captivating in every way, and she was sure not everyone could pull off having a mop of turquoise-colored locks –  but the young girl managed to look otherworldly anyway.

 

She slowly pressed her lips against the dark sweater covering the young American’s shoulders, and lightly pressed a few more, tracing kisses all the way up Nancy’s neck before lightly taking a bite at the tender flesh below her ear. Yeonwoo heard the younger girl suppress a whimper, so she did another round to check if the coast was still clear, just to tease their maknae a little bit more. She couldn’t help but break into a mischievous smile, with the tip of her tongue peeking out.

 

She leaned in lightly trace the sensitive part of Nancy’s neck with her exposed muscle, before settling at the junction of her neck and shoulder, sealing her lips around the area, and ending it with a little suckle. This seemed to have done the trick as the young girl’s eyes shot wide open, to be greeted with the sight of Dabin holding back a snicker.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?!?” Nancy mouthed to the older girl, while looking aghast

 

Yeonwoo let out a soft chortle as she took an airpod out of the younger girl’s ear, leaning in to whisper “Relax, everyone’s asleep. And good morning, beautiful”

 

The turquoise-haired maiden couldn’t help but roll her eyes, and jokingly scoff at the cheesy approach. This of course, didn’t stop her from stealing a chaste kiss off her favorite member “Good morning to you too, unnie.”

 

The older girl smiled as she saw the young girl bite her lower lip, straddling the line between being abashed, and wanting to see how far they could go teasing each other in the presence of their whole group. Her thoughts were interrupted as she noticed a low humming noise coming out of the airpod in her hand. “What are you listening to?” she decided to put the bud in her own ear

 

“Ahhhh” Nancy hurriedly looked away, choosing to look out the window and greet the dawn instead in her embarrassment.

 

‘ _ima kawaru ki ga suru kino made ni so long**_ ’ It didn’t take Yeonwoo long to figure out that Nancy had been playing her favorite song by Yui. She openly mused “Oh…you’re listening to this song…”

 

“I mean…you recommended it during the radio show we were on…” the younger girl trailed

 

“Well, you’re welcome, baby girl. I’m happy you seem to like it” she smugly replied with her arms crossed, and nodding to herself in approval.

 

The younger girl slowly snuck her arm to wrap around Yeonwoo’s “It’s a beautiful song…but it’s…” her fingers tightened around the older girl’s upper arm “it’s really heart wrenching…” she lightly tugged to get her unnie’s attention “Dabin, I-” she started a little unsurely “I’m actually a little scared…I mean, what if one day this would happen to us too”

 

Nancy’s forlorn look made the raven-haired beauty’s expression soften. She pulled the blue-green haired girl into a tight embrace and gently murmured against her head “What are you going on about, silly? Stop worrying too much. That will never happen. I’ll make sure of it.”

 

The younger girl’s eyes glistened as she looked up to her senior with a perplexed expression “How can you be so sure?”

 

“Because, silly girl…” Yeonwoo gently poked the middle of Nancy’s forehead “I promise” she tenderly gazed into pools the color of hazelnuts with the gentlest of smiles on her face. She couldn’t help but let out a bemused chortle as she was suddenly struck with the realization that despite what science and other experts had claimed, it was possible to hold her entire world in her arms.

 

The younger girl tightened her arms around her senior’s torso. She buried her face into the older girl’s chest and placed a delicate kiss against the statuesque beauty’s exposed clavicle in a silent display of gratitude.

 

Yeonwoo saw Nancy’s iPhone stuck halfway in the pocket of the seat in front the younger girl from the corner of her eye. Suddenly, an idea struck her, making her let go of their embrace. She shuffled through her backpack, as the turquoise-haired maiden looked at her with curiosity. She pulled out a sticker set she had received from one of her fans.

 

Nancy let out a confused look as she saw her senior pull her iPhone out of the seat pocket in front of her to start tinkering with it “What are you doing?”

 

The vixen flashed a toothy smile, revealing stickers of baby pictures of herself, and the young American decorated at the bottom of the blue-green-haired girl’s phone “I sure do like your phone case, Nancy”

 

A small squeal escaped Nancy at the sight of her newly decked phone case. She nabbed Yeonwoo’s phone from her pocket and took a couple of stickers herself, sticking Dabin’s baby picture in the middle of the older girl’s Shinchan Pajama-themed case, before adding her own baby picture on the case’s top right hand corner.  She couldn’t help but break out into a proud grin “Yours doesn’t look too bad either, unnie!”

 

_**right now I've got the feeling that things are going to change; so long to everything up until yesterday_

 

\----------

 

_Early hours of 02 August 2018, the dorms_

 

Yeonwoo saw the exposed flesh of the back of one of Nancy’s knees, gently trailing the visible veins her pale skin exposed from that point, all the way to the younger girl’s bare back. “Well,” she planted a deep kiss at the back of the short-haired girl’s neck “that sure was one _happy_ birthday”

 

Nancy giggled as she turned around to face the older girl, wrapping her arms around her neck, pulling the older girl closer as she whispered against her lips “I’m glad I was able to help make it happy” she trapped Yeonwoo’s upper lip in between hers before separating their lips with a smacking noise.

 

The older girl pulled back, and just let out a dumbfounded grin as she basked in how radiant Nancy looked in her afterglow. She had heard the younger girl complain a few days back about how she didn’t feel like the shorter hair complimented her features much. Nancy went on about how didn’t have much of a choice due to all the split ends she had gotten from all the damage all the dyeing within short intervals had done. But Yeonwoo felt those thoughts were rubbish. Nancy just looked as dazzling as ever to her.

 

“So…how was your special day?” the young girl went under the sheets as she propped herself sideways, making room for the older girl to lay down next to her.

 

“It was good. I got to meet a few fans at the coffee shop. I got a ton of presents, and I went on the V Live app to talk with the fans for a bit. Standard stuff I guess.” Yeonwoo absentmindedly replied, pulling the sheets past her chest whilst going over the things she had done on the first of August.  A mischievous grin appeared “And then I capped it off by having mind-blowing s-”

 

Nancy smacked the older girl’s face with a pillow before she could even finish “Pervert!”

 

Yeonwoo moved the pillow away from her face, revealing a foxy grin in the midst of a fit of giggles.

 

The short-haired girl couldn’t help but look at the vixen with so much tenderness. She swore to God that Dabin filled her heart with so much love that sometimes it felt like it was about to burst. But she always felt this twinge in her chest sometimes. When it came to the older girl, she could never stop herself from wanting more “So…did your family call you earlier?”

 

The laughing promptly stopped, the question being answered by a heavy sigh “Yeah, my mom, my sister and my grandmother rang me earlier to drop a quick greeting…” she knew where this was going

 

“And your dad...?”

 

“Look, we already talked about this…”

 

“I know, I know…your dad isn’t your favorite topic in the world, but…”

 

“But what?” Yeonwoo was clearly becoming irate at this point

 

“I…I don’t know. Sometimes it just feels like I tell you everything and that you know everything about me, and yet you barely share certain sides of yourself…you know, the important stuff…stuff that we don’t always necessarily share to the world”

 

“I’m here with you now, aren’t I? You don’t see me broadcasting that to the world”

 

“You know that’s not what I meant –”

 

“Then what?!” the older girl had to fight the urge to grind her teeth.

 

“I don’t know, Dabin!” Nancy pulled herself back until she felt her spine hit the wall “Like sometimes it just feels like I’m not really a part of your life-” she started, the anger becoming more evident in her voice “You share silly and funny things with me all the time, and while that’s all well and good, I want to be here for the hard stuff too!” her voice cracked “I don’t want to just be there for you just when you’re happy, and when things are all good. But whenever times get rough, you just close everyone off, along with me, and bottle everything up inside!”  she heaved “It’s like you can’t share any of the important things with me! You never let me in!”

 

Yeonwoo furrowed her brows and clicked her tongue, covering her eyes with her forearm as she murmured “Look, maybe you should go…”

 

“Are you serious right now?”

 

“I don’t know…maybe…”

 

Nancy let out an appalled huff, before making the move towards her discarded clothes on the floor. Yeonwoo cut the younger girl’s actions off by swiftly locking her wrist in a firm grip. The younger girl had to repress a sneer “What’s the big idea?!”

 

“I…” The older girl started a little unsurely “I’m sorry…”

 

She met the older girl’s apology with a puzzled look.

 

“It’s just…it was just my birthday a couple of hours ago, y’know? And to be honest, until the sun rises, I still feel like it’s my birthday…so can we just not fight right now, please?” she let out a hopeless sigh “I just…I just want us to be okay…” she was really just rambling at this point “even if it’s just for now…I promise…we can talk about this some other time” she wasn’t even really sure if she could keep her word “so please, can you just give it a rest? Just for tonight…”

 

The short-haired girl hesitated before slowly nodding, agreeing to the truce. “Okay”

 

Yeonwoo flipped Nancy onto her back and locked both of the younger girl’s hands with one of her own above the young girl’s head, pressing them against the headboard. She knew they didn’t have much time left as JooE would probably come home from filming in a little over an hour. She glowered hungrily at the younger girl, taking in all of her soft and supple curves, before parting legs like porcelain with her knee. She’d be damned if their little squabble was the kind of yelling the short-haired girl would leave her room with. Yeonwoo smashed her lips into the younger girl’s with fervor. If anything, she was making hella sure she’d have Nancy screaming in a different way before leaving that night.


	4. If It Means A Lot To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I said it would be short, and then I wrote Chapter 4....and it ended up being longer than Chapters 1-3 combined. Sorry if updates have been few and far in between. But it's almost done. And I promise I'll go straight back to finishing CP.

_06 August 2018, the dorms_

 

Nancy jumped right behind Yeonwoo, curling both of her arms around the older girl’s exposed abdomen. She rested her chin against the vixen’s cropped yellow polo shirt before, before cheerily piping “Sooooo~~ are you ready for LA?”

 

The raven haired-beauty responded with a cold silence, choosing to continue staring blankly at her phone screen.

 

“Is everything alright?” The short-haired girl loosened her embrace as she shot her senior a worried glance

 

Yeonwoo chose to shrug the younger girl’s chin off her shoulder “Look, it’s probably just nothing. And it’s not like either of us could really do anything about it” she distractedly reached for her roller bag “Do you have all your things ready?”

 

“Yeah…one of the managers took my luggage down earlier. Everyone else is already outside waiting for us…” the short-haired girl trailed

 

“Alright, let’s go then” the vixen brushed past the younger girl, as she was heading towards the door

 

“Dabin…”

 

“What?” she stopped in her tracks and tried to hold back the growing annoyance she had been feeling

 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

 

“Not now, Nancy…”

 

“You just said a few days ago that we could talk about it another time. And since we’re all alone right now, it doesn’t seem like such a bad time to do so?” she pushed back

 

“We have a flight to catch. Can we not right now?”

 

“But you said-!”

 

“It’s not like I’d expect you to understand!” the older girl snappily retorted, a glare washing onto her normally cool features

 

The younger girl could only stare back at her senior incredulously, shooting back with all the sass she could muster “Yeah? Well, try me!”

 

Yeonwoo let out an ironic huff “As if you, you- the ever so perfect and super-talented Nancy Jewel McDonie could ever understand. With your perfect family stuck in your perfect little fairytale-like life!” she started off cruelly, but she did not relent “Not everyone can have the most amazing parents in the world, Nancy.” She released her bag’s handle to openly gesture in the air “Do you know how shitty it is to have a deadbeat dad who’s so enamored with following his dreams that he forgets to put food on the damn table? Do you really buy the shit I say to the media about just eating an egg and a glass of milk because I _wanted_ to lose weight? Grandma had to step up just for us to survive.” Her anger was seething through her teeth “Do you know what it’s like to starve because you don’t have a choice? What do you know about that kind of hardship?”

 

Nancy felt her heart pounding so loudly she swore the beating had resounded all the way to her ears. “That…“ she croaked “That’s not fair-”

 

“As if anything in this life ever is…” the older girl looked away. And as if she had finally completed buffering, she had realized what kind of abrasive words had left her mouth just a few minutes earlier. She slowly made her way towards the younger girl, heavily sighing “Look…I didn’t mean what I said. I was just…ang-”

 

“Why do I even bother?!” Nancy snatched her purse that had been laying on the couch, purposefully ramming her shoulders into Yeonwoo’s as she hastily made her exit. But not before the statuesque beauty caught the tears brimming in the younger girl’s eyes.

 

The older girl just watched her go, without another word. She rammed the inner side of her fist against her forehead, berating herself out loud “Why are you such an idiot, Dabin?!” she took another five minutes to compose herself, before making her way down to join the others. Just as she was about to approach Nancy, she saw the younger girl tugging on Jane’s shirt.

 

“Hey, unnie, do you mind if I sat next to you for our flight to LA?”

 

The strawberry blonde chuckled “And may I ask what brought this whim about?”

 

The young girl sent Yeonwoo an icy sideway glance before excitedly responding to Jane “I want there to be good documentation of me on my first time home in over half a decade!”

 

“Oh yeah? And how am I going to be compensated for this?” the fair-haired girl pondered in jest

 

Nancy took both of Jane’s hands into her own, and gave the girl the cutest pout and the most earnest set of puppy-dog eyes “I’ll give you all my love and affection”

 

Jane couldn’t help but chuckle as she locked Nancy’s neck in her elbow, pulling the younger girl against her chest as she gave her a soft noogie “Alright, alright. You got me, squirt. As if I could ever say ‘no’ to my favorite model anyway.” She ended with a wink.

 

The short-haired girl burst into a fit of coy giggles, as she playfully hit the strawberry blonde’s shoulder with a half-closed fist.

 

Yeonwoo didn’t miss the way the other girl’s hands gingerly brushed all the skin Nancy’s red smocked off-shoulder crop top had laid bare. Even if those touches were all seemingly innocent accidents, she still clenched her eyes close. This was going to be one _long_ flight.

 

\----------

 

_06 August 2018, LAX Arrival Area_

 

The eleven hour flight had given Dabin a lot of time to mull over what she had done. And as much as the older girl kept on trying to approach Nancy to make amends, she was always brushed off by the younger girl, who kept on abruptly looking away with her phone plastered over her ear.

 

All of a sudden, a male fan had asked for a photo with the short-haired girl to which she happily obliged.

 

Yeonwoo clenched her teeth as she saw the man suddenly placing his hand over Nancy’s exposed shoulder, pulling the young girl into his side. That bastard was really pushing his luck.

 

Whatever cheerfulness the short-haired girl had suddenly all gone down the drain…she couldn’t even fake a decent smile for the fan’s photo. He wasn’t her friend, and she didn’t like how the man had crossed a personal boundary.

 

As the entire group walked towards the exit, Yeonwoo had to hold herself back from rolling her eyes. The male fan had asked to take a photo with her this time around. ‘The audacity…’ she quietly thought to herself, as she lamely held up a peace sign with her right hand. She didn’t even bother trying to smile.

 

Things were just _not_ going her way today.

 

As the male fan left, Yeonwoo tried to approach the younger girl once more, but Nancy remained standoffish, clearly looking aggravated as she kept on dialing a number on her phone.

 

The older girl made an effort to close the gap between them, but the short-haired girl made sure to glare ice daggers in her direction before starting a conversation on the phone with her mother. This made Yeonwoo blink in disbelief, before fully understanding ‘Oh, so you’re playing the I-don’t-wanna-talk card right now, eh? Well two can play that game’ she knowingly breached protocol while waiting for their shuttle to the hotel, making her way past the exit to play with the airport K9 team.

 

\----------

 

_09 August 2018, InterContinental Los Angeles Downtown_

 

Nancy heard a slight rap at her door, and didn’t think twice about opening it. She was greeted to the sight of Yeonwoo holding her arms behind her back. She frostily raised a brow at her senior in response.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“…”

 

“Please?”

 

“…”

 

“I come bearing a peace offering” Yeonwoo revealed the cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream that she had hidden behind her. “Your favorite…for breakfast. Don’t worry, I won’t snitch.”

Nancy snatched the treat from the older girl and made way for her to enter. She took in a small piece from the plastic spoon before condescendingly asking “What do you want?”

 

“Look…” the older girl made to move to close the door behind her “it’s been over two days, are we seriously still not talking?”

 

The younger girl just responded by narrowing her eyes

 

“Do you know how it was almost physically painful that I couldn’t get to fangirl with you at Universal Studios, especially in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter? Or even have fun exploring together at Facebook headquarters? We couldn’t even do the REACT video together, and it’s always been your dream to go on that channel…”

 

“And whose fault do you think that is?” venom dripped from the younger girl’s voice before she took another bite of her treat

 

Yeonwoo gently took the cup off of Nancy’s hands and set it on the vanity table. She pulled the younger girl towards her and sincerely looked into her eyes “I know there’s no excuse for the way I acted before flying in here, and I’m sorry…”

 

Nancy could really see the guilt in her senior’s eyes as they had started glistening.

 

“…it was just tough to talk about it….because I just got off the phone with my mother that day…and she told me that grandma was sick…” she took in a deep breath “the doctors said she probably only has until the end of the year…and I-” she tried to blink back some of the tears that had formed “I just don’t know what I’d do without her you know?” she let out a sad laugh “She’s always been our rock…and she’s always provided a sense of stability in our family…when my dad was busy being irresponsible and chasing frivolous dreams, grandma actually came in, and helped us in whatever way she could, just so that my sister and I could eat…” she closed her eyes “whenever mom had to  take double shifts just so we could keep our apartment, grandma was always there to take care of us” she whimpered as she continued “The only reason our family has remained afloat until my dad got his act together was because of her… She was the one who encouraged me to get into entertainment. Even when it didn’t really work out despite me being an acting major, she told me never to give up, and just keep on trying. And even when our group was on the verge of disbanding, she was to one who told me to keep on believing, because just knew that Momoland would make it.” streams still managed to make it past her closed lids “I just…I can’t imagine life without her around, you know?”

 

The younger girl furrowed her brows as she cupped both sides of Yeonwoo’s face “Oh Dabin…” she pulled down the older girl’s head down, so that their foreheads could touch “I’m so sorry…if I had just known…”

 

Yeonwoo giggled guiltily past her tears “Yeah, nah…that was on me…I should have told you” she felt the younger girl brush her lips against the trail of tears on her face. She slightly smiled as she wiped dampness off with the back of her hand “It’s just that…it gets hard to talk about it sometimes” a sniffle “it’s almost if…if I just don’t talk about it, I can pretend it isn’t there, and that it’s not real, you know?”

 

Nancy pulled in the older girl’s face, pressing her lips against the vixen’s for a good few seconds “I’m here for you, Dabin. I’ll be here for you to lean on, cry on, I’ll be here to be anything you could ever need, okay?”

 

The older girl slowly nodded as she looked at the younger girl with the corner of her lips upturned “Yeah, thank you…and just so you know, young lady, I’ve missed my bestest friend in the whole wide world these past few days…I think it gave my heart a tiny boo-boo”

 

“Awww poor, baby. How can I make it up to you?” Nancy cooed as she locked her fingers behind Yeonwoo’s neck

“Maybe you could give it a little kiss?” she pointed to her chest

 

The younger girl couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she laughed, later planting a soft kiss on the area “Is there anything else I could do for you, you big baby?”

 

“Hmmm…how about I get a little sleepover here later?”

 

“Done” Nancy instantaneously responded.

 

“Fantastic” Yeonwoo couldn’t help but break out into a devilish grin as she pressed a kiss against the young girl’s shoulder.

 

\----------

 

_28 August 2018, Lee Family Ancestral Home_

 

Yeonwoo stared at the floor of the hanok’s front porch with tired, red eyes, and decided to pick on it with her shoe. A droplet had marked the ground, and for a moment she thought that the tears had come back again. She looked up to see gloomy clouds of gray.

 

 They sky had started crying.

 

It didn’t take long before she joined in too.

 

She heard a vehicle pull over, and she quickly brushed away the streaks that marred her face with the cuffs of her sweater. Her entire company was scheduled to come in today to pay respects to her late grandmother. She tried to put up a strong face. She looked up to see the love of her life coming out of the van, wearing a black shirt that was just a little too big for her.

 

Nancy met her eyes, and offered the older girl a sad smile. She knew the past 48 hours hadn’t been easy on Dabin in the slightest. They weren’t even able to talk about anything as the older girl had immediately rushed home after finding out about her grandmother’s passing.

 

Yeonwoo noticed Nancy sharing an umbrella with a sharply dressed Jane as they were to enter her family’s ancestral home. Even if she knew that deep down, it really wasn’t anything more than just two friends sharing an umbrella in the light rain; she couldn’t help but feel something gnawing away at her chest. She’s seen the photographer’s portfolio as of late, and although she’s taken a bunch of pictures of their entire group, a huge chunk of those photos have all been of their maknae. And she would be lying if she said the fact that the strawberry blonde took so many breathtaking photos of the young American didn’t bother her in the slightest. She shook all these thoughts away as she ushered in her group, all clad in black, so they could come in to pay respects.

 

\--

 

Everyone had been trying to make conversation with various members of the Lee family, chatting along about everything, to show support for the grieving family. They were all scheduled to leave in a few minutes, but Nancy noticed Yeonwoo excusing herself to head off somewhere. She shortly excused herself after, saying she had to use the rest room, when she really just wanted to look for the older girl. She heard running water coming from the kitchen, mostly drowning out a sequence of unsteady breaths and light sniffles. She decided to enter the room as silently as she could.

 

Yeonwoo had been staring down at the kitchen sink, her hands clutching on the ends of the countertop for support. She hadn’t noticed how tightly she had been gripping the edges of the counter; her knuckles had started turning white.

 

Nancy came in from behind, and wrapped her arms around the older girl’s waist, pressing her cheek against Yeonwoo’s back as she whispered “I’m so sorry, Dabin…”

 

The older girl couldn’t keep it together anymore and bawled out angrily “It’s not fair! They said she had until the end of the year!!! And it hasn’t even been a month yet, but –!” she was choking from all the erratic breathing her sobs had brought about

 

The younger girl could only hug her tighter as she quietly whispered against her back “I know…I know…and I’m so sorry…”

 

“Why does this always happen to good people?! Grandma was the best person…she didn’t deserve any of this!” she trembled in the middle of her tears

 

“I know…”

 

“It’s not fair!!!”

 

“I know…”

 

“I didn’t even get to tell her goodbye!”

 

“I’m so sorry…”

 

“If the universe wanted to take another life so badly, I would’ve gladly given mine instead!!!” she heatedly wailed

 

This took Nancy aback as she quickly snapped away, gently pushing Yeonwoo’s body around to face her “Please don’t say things like that…you know that’s the last thing she would have wanted…”

 

Yeonwoo knew she probably looked so unsightly with the way she was crying, but she couldn’t help it “I don’t know what to do, Nancy…I just don’t know where to go from here…”

 

The younger girl gently rubbed the statuesque beauty’s back “We’ll figure something out, okay? Trust me...”

 

The dark haired girl could only respond by clutching onto the younger girl’s back as she buried her face in Nancy’s shoulder, drenching away the black shirt with her tears.

 

\----------

 

_22 September 2018, Kuzuha Mall_

 

Nancy noticed that although Yeonwoo hadn’t changed the way she had interacted with their fans, she had become rather withdrawn from the entire group, herself included, but she wanted to give the older girl space. Maybe this was part of her grieving process. Still, there was a part of the young girl that hurt over the dark haired beauty’s recent coldness towards her, when all she wanted to do was melt it all away by warming the other’s bed.

 

Yeonwoo was rather detached throughout Vietnam, always covering her face in photos with her nón lá, which they had all received, one each, from a fan. She always kept distance from the entire group during their short stay in Singapore as well.

 

So it had come as quite the surprise to Nancy that Yeonwoo had leaned back into her head during their Osaka fanmeet. She tried to shrug it off as a one-off thing or maybe just an accidental gesture, but the older girl surprised her by holding onto her wrist just after the event ended

 

“Can you keep JooE out of your room for a bit tonight? I want to talk to you just for a bit…in private” the statuesque girl had requested in a low voice

 

The American could only lamely nod in reply

 

\--

 

Nancy nervously tapped her fingers against her knees as she sat on the edge of her bed. She was feeling a bit edgy as she hadn’t been alone with Dabin in a while, so she puffed her cheeks and let out a deep breath in anticipation. She was also a bit jittery since wasn’t sure how much time they really had, knowing JooE had just gone for a trip with Daisy and Jane to the convenience store. She heard a light rap against her door and she answered “Come in”

 

The older girl gave her a nod as she slowly entered the room.

It still surprised Nancy at how Yeonwoo never failed to give her a warm feeling in her belly and made her legs feel like jelly whenever they were alone. She was suddenly glad she was seated on the bed…she didn’t want to fall over herself like an idiot.

 

“Is that seat taken or…?” the older girl, lamely asked, gesturing towards the empty space on the bed

 

Nancy gently pat the space next to her “Not at all”

 

“Thanks…” Yeonwoo whispered as she took a seat, leaving a bit of space between herself and the American.

 

The younger girl took every bit of self-restraint she possessed to keep herself from lunging onto the older girl, and kissing all her ‘I miss you’s against the vixen’s neck. She instead decided to tangle her fingers into each other as she kept them locked away between her knees.

 

Yeonwoo stared at the closet in front of them as she started “…why didn’t you tell me you were going home to Ohio?”

 

“How’d you – ?”

 

“I overheard Jane and Daisy talk about it.”

 

“…I guess it’s just been a little weird. I haven’t really had time alone with you lately, and you seem like you’re still in the middle sorting some things out, and I didn’t want to intrude…but Brenda’s been going through some stuff too. My parents kind of decided that it might be best if she took some time off and figured things out back home. They said she might even just finish her university studies there too, so I probably won’t be seeing her for a while. That’s why I decided to at least be there with her for a bit and spend whatever time we could together…”

 

“How long will you be away for…?”

 

“Just a little over a week…I should be back a few days after the Chuseok Holidays.”

 

“Okay…” the older girl absently nodded, a hint of sadness trailing away at her voice

 

“Unnie, are you okay…?”

 

“I think...” Yeonwoo hesitated, but decided to slowly continue “I think something’s wrong with me…”

 

Nancy furrowed her brows in response “What do you mean…?”

 

“It’s hard getting up most days…and I can’t help but feel like sometimes I just want the world to swallow me whole…”

 

The younger girl looked at her senior incredulously in silence

 

“…I think I’m broken”

 

Nancy quickly put a hand over Yeonwoo’s, squeezing it as she said “You’re not…”

 

“I really think I am” the older girl let out a dry chuckle

 

“You’re not broken,” the younger girl stubbornly insisted “you’re just a little bruised that’s all…but it’ll get better. You hear?”

 

It was Yeonwoo this time who met her with silence.

 

“You’ll get through this” she placed both hands on the older girl’s shoulders so they could squarely face each other “We’ll get through this” she pulled the older girl into her body for a tight embrace “Just wait for me to get back, okay? I swear, we’ll figure something out”

 

“Okay” She meekly replied against Nancy’s hair.

 

\----------

 

_03 October 2018, Asia Song Festival_

 

Yeonwoo had started feeling a little better after Nancy had flown back in from Ohio. So much so that she couldn’t even help herself from playfully slapping their maknae’s bum, in the middle of hosting a live event together – that was broadcast on national TV and over the internet for millions of people to see. She was so grateful that they had this gig together, and was overjoyed that Nancy made a little rap about the two of them earlier backstage when all the members were playing around. She was just _so_ happy that the younger girl’s promises seemed to be coming to fruition.

 

But of course that couldn’t last.

 

She saw the way the younger girl giddily ran towards her after briefly encountering a childhood friend. The moment was short, and really could’ve been easily brushed off aside by anyone else as nothing. But she remembered how the young Americans looked at each other through their fleeting greeting.

 

Yeonwoo always noticed how the young girl had a penchant for developing little school girl crushes. She even vaguely remembered the younger girl mentioning developing a crush on the American boy when they modeled together as children. Normally, these little crushes never really bothered her too much, not even when Nancy was a little playful with Evan from Buzzfeed when they were in the US (but then again, Yeonwoo had a feeling he somehow rooted for the two of them).

 

But how Nancy’s smile glistened past eyes after exchanging a short greeting with Vernon, left a very distinct pang in Yeonwoo’s chest.

 

She couldn’t help but think of the perfect life the Nancy Jewel McDonie could probably have with someone like Hansol Vernon Chwe.

 

Those two could have a life together that they wouldn’t have to hide in the shadows…because if they had a relationship, and it happened to become public, it wouldn’t mean the end of the careers…not to mention the whole country wouldn’t have to crucify them for being in a union that was a “detriment to their societal values”. And even if it their fans collectively turned their backs on them, the two could easily just start a life over across the Pacific Ocean, maybe settle down in nice quiet suburb (maybe in Ohio, maybe in New York, or maybe somewhere in the middle), in a house with a white picket fence, with two kids and a dog. They’d be the perfect picture of the American Dream.

 

These thoughts had just kept eating away at her on their way back to the dorms.

 

So Yeonwoo decided to drown those thoughts out by having Nancy chant out her name like a prayer through broken pants against her bedpost that night.

 

And while she effectively silenced those thoughts that night…they never really went away.

 

\----------

 

_28 October 2018, the dorms_

 

Nancy groggily raised her head; waking from nothing but an innocent Sunday afternoon nap next to the person she loved the most. She lived for moments like this…a quiet moment where she could just sleep next her beloved in peace. She gently craned her head to see Yeonwoo staring blankly at the ceiling, with tears quietly moving past her temples “Dabin…what’s wrong?” she softly asked with furrowed brows

 

The older girl suddenly blinked herself back to reality and rubbed the tears quickly away with the back of her hand. “It’s nothing, baby. Just go back to sleep” she managed to croak back.

 

“Dabin, you promised me you wouldn’t hold things like this to yourself anymore…”

 

Yeonwoo sighed deeply, clenching her eyes close before starting “It’s just that…I’ve been thinking for a while now…”

 

She opened her eyes to see the younger girl gently nodding to encourage her to continue.

 

“I…” her breath was shaky as she continued “I don’t think I’m getting better...” she reached out to cradle Nancy’s left cheek in her right hand “…and I don’t want to drag you down with me”

 

“You’re not dragging anyone down.” Nancy gently knocked the older girl’s hand away as she shook her head, stubbornly asserting “We can do this. And we will do this. Together. I promised, remember?”

 

The older girl let out an exasperated sigh as she sat up “Don’t you get it?! Stop wasting your damn time on me!”

 

The younger girl could only stare back in shock

 

“There’s so many other better things you could be doing with your time! And maybe another more deserving person you could give your love to! Stop wasting it all on a broken person like me!!!”

 

Nancy tried to change the pace “Unnie, it’s not you talking, it’s just the d—”

 

“Stop...please stop...” Yeonwoo pinched the bridge of her nose as a fresh set of tears fell down her face

 

“Unnie…”

 

“I think I need a break”

 

“What do you mean…?” the younger girl asked, her face filled with worry

 

Yeonwoo opened her eyes as she gave Nancy a pained look “A break from you…a break from us…a break from all of this…”

 

“Is that really what you want...?” the younger girl quietly asked as she lowered her head

 

“Yes…”

 

This time the tears had started forming in the corners of Nancy’s eyes “Okay...” she nodded, as she stood up to exit her senior’s bed, slowly making her way out “but please know...whenever you’re ready...” the tears had fallen past her cheeks as she gave the older girl a heartbroken smile “I’m just waiting here for you.”

 

Yeonwoo didn’t even stop her from walking out the door.


	5. Fear of Flying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The last chapter. It's the longest one I've written, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little emotionally drained after finishing it. So please leave me comments, I crave your validation T^T

_22 December 2018, Ewha Women's University_

At this point, Nancy didn’t really know what to think. She had done everything she thought was necessary in a break. She gave Yeonwoo all the space she could ever need, even going as far as minimizing all friendly interaction that could be taken the wrong way…all because she didn’t want the older girl to think that she was taking advantage of the situation or overstepping any boundaries.

 

She didn’t even say anything to Yeonwoo when the older girl had taken some time off citing health issues for her hiatus; instead choosing to wordlessly cry her eyes out into the reassurance of JooE’s unquestioning embrace the night after the MBC Plus X Genie Music Awards. She knew that would come to bite her in the ass the next day when she showed up to the airport with swollen, bloodshot eyes. She was just so grateful her roommate was so quick to jump in and provide her comfort without really asking any questions.

 

And she had been fine for a little while. She’d been taking the time off to become closer with all the other members in their group as well. She had especially grown fond of Nayun again. It had been a while since she and the girl with 4D contrasting charms had spent time together, especially due to the latter’s problems with vertigo. She hadn’t really seen her for about a quarter of the year. She had almost forgotten how good it felt when she was with Nayun…because with Nayun, Nancy was provided with the kind of solace she only ever found elsewhere in her own mother.

 

But then she would find Yeonwoo playing her hot and cold.

 

Like today for example, Yeonwoo seemed so eager to save her when they were playing Pop-up Pirate. And then Yeonwoo immediately ran towards her (and Nayun) when they were asked to group themselves as part of a game. After that, Yeonwoo ostensibly looked so disappointed thinking that she let the younger girl down during the ball relay they played with spoons. Things like that made Nancy feel like maybe a little break was all they needed, that maybe all the time they spent apart was going to be worth it...because in the end, both of them could be together again. Yet at the end of the fanmeet, she didn’t miss the way the statuesque beauty had purposefully avoided grazing her even in the slightest as they had wrapped up their activities.

 

It was starting to get on her nerves.

 

But she told herself to be patient. She didn’t want to drive the person that meant the most to her away in the other direction. She was in this for the long haul. Nancy would hang around forever if she had to, because she knew Yeonwoo was worth the wait.

 

The ride back to the dorms was rather quiet. Everyone was dead tired after their very first fanmeet, and everyone just wanted to catch up on some much needed sleep. She went straight to her room, scuffling through her things to take something out, while JooE was gently snoring on her bunk. She’d have to remember to wake up her roommate to wash up later after she did.

 

Nancy quietly snuck out into the common area, and took a peak into Yeonwoo’s room. She found the older girl sprawled over her bed, tangled in messy sheets. She could see a soiled makeup remover wipe crumpled in the older girl’s fist. The raven-haired vixen hadn’t even bothered changing out of the clothes they left the auditorium in. The American softly giggled as she saw a little drool peaking out of the corner of the older girl’s lips, while musing to herself ‘She must be dead tired’

               

The younger girl still thought Yeonwoo looked nothing short of spectacular. And the thought of how it had been a while since she was able to see this side of the older girl’s unguarded beauty broke her heart a little.

 

Nancy’s eyes grazed over the slits of Yeonwoo’s eyes, to the graceful slope of her nose down the soft curve of her lips…the older girl’s golden skin perfectly reflecting the soft glow of the lamp. She swore she could map the vixen’s image from her memory. She knew every sly crinkle, every luscious arch and every delicious indentation.  She had learned by heart all sections where the older girl’s beauty marks lay, and could point them out without fail. She had images of her own soft flesh of alabaster delightfully pressed against toned sun-kissed skin basking underneath the moonlight burned into her memory. And yet, the thing she still missed the most was seeing her beloved like this.

 

A side of Dabin that had all her defenses down, that she radiated such delicate innocence…moments of fragility that the older girl had only ever bared to her.

 

She sighed as she looked away. Nancy knew she wouldn’t be able to see the girls for a few days over the holidays, and she didn’t know how else to do this while directly interacting with the older girl, so she had settled on this instead.

 

She put an 8-bit NanoBlock figure she had put together of White Beard encased in clear acrylic box on the older girl’s vanity. Nancy felt that it would go well together with the 8-bit NanoBlock figures of Luffy and Zoro that Yeonwoo already had on display. On top of the box had a little card that read

_‘Merry Christmas, Unnie!_

_Hoping you have happy_

_holidays ahead of you!_

_Much Love,_

_Nancy’_

 

Nancy gingerly dragged her finger on top of the transparent box before letting go, her eyes automatically gazing back onto the only person who made her heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

 

She crouched down, to get a closer look at Yeonwoo’s face, and willed herself using every fiber of her being not to just press her lips against the delectable pair the older girl possessed. Instead choosing to brush away the stray hairs covering the ephemeral softness the raven-haired beauty possessed whilst in her slumber.

 

The young girl pressed a deep kiss against Yeonwoo’s temple, whispering “I miss you so much, Dabin…you don’t even know half of it.” she rested her forehead on where she had planted a kiss “But I promise that better days are coming.”

 

Nancy murmured into the older girl’s hair before quietly making an exit “I love you.”

 

A tear had trickled down Yeonwoo’s cheek that night…but it wasn’t her own.

 

\----------

 

_28 December 2018, Bowling Bowling Alley_

 

“Hey, Yeonwoo-unnieeeeeeee, let’s call it a day. PLEASE~~~” JooE begged as she stretched her body against the couch

 

“Easy for you to say, you’ve gotten a lot of strikes in already. My ball just kept on going to the gutter” Yeonwoo huffed as she bowled another ball. It looked like it was about to make it—

 

—but it landed straight in the gutter.

 

The raven haired beauty let out a heavy sigh. She was a track star in elementary, why couldn’t she just stick to the 400m relay? Why did her dumb ass have to volunteer for bowling too? Right…it kept her busy, and kept the dark thoughts away. She blew a stray hair that had gotten in her face.  


“You know it’s just ISAC. It’s not like we’re training to be competitive bowlers. As long as we’re not in last place, we’ll be fine.”

 

“You do realize that with the rate I’m going, you’re basically just a one-man team, right?” the older girl gestured towards her enemy for the day…their lane’s vile gutter

“Well, the time with our coach is done for today. He has another student coming in a bit. So let’s just go back to the dorm, okay? We still have a couple of weeks to go anyway” the cheery girl whined

 

Yeonwoo absentmindedly waved off her junior off “Just go on ahead, I know how to make my way home. I already paid an extra hour to keep our lane anyway”

 

“Suit yourself” JooE shrugged as she started packing her things

 

Yeonwoo bowled another gutter. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and placed a hand on her hip. It wasn’t long before she felt a sudden hug from behind.

 

“Take care on your way home. Okay, unnie?” JooE forcefully planted a wet kiss on the older girl’s wide forehead

 

“Aghhh!!! JooE, you punk!” Yeonwoo wiped off the slight dampness with the back of her hand as she watched her mischievous companion cackle away. As she turned to face her lane, her eyes accidentally landed on her coach’s new student who had just arrived.

 

She remembered him. They used to go to the same high school around the same time. She had been on his radio show a couple of times, and they were guests in the same variety show earlier in the year. They were really nothing more than acquaintances at this point, but it really wasn’t as if anyone could forget those fine dyed tresses on skin so smooth people likened it to rice cakes. It was none other than NCT’s resident Valentine Boy, Jaehyun Jung. She slightly bowed, muttering a little “Oh, hello.”

 

The boy returned the bow and then greeting “Ah. Hello to you as well. It’s been a while.”

 

“Ah yes, it has.” She let out a weak smile before turning away to face her own lane, refocusing on the task at hand.

 

Following 30 minutes of bowling balls going straight the gutter, Yeonwoo groaned to herself in frustration. She plopped down the couch and uncapped her water bottle for a little sip. She decided to see how her coach was doing with his new student, in hopes of her maybe learning something.

 

Strike

 

Strike

 

Strike

 

She suddenly couldn’t help but feel like such a failure. Some people were just so good at everything. They were so naturally gifted that they didn’t even have to try. It made hard-workers like her feel horrendous. It made her remember how worthless she was next to people like that…it reminded her of how she could never catch up to them, not matter how hard she tried. And how she’d never be good enough for people like that. People like Jaehyun. People like…

 

_Nancy._

 

The thought made her entire body go cold, and she felt her hands turn clammy. She was suddenly thankful she was seated because she felt her legs turn to jelly, and her heart began to race so fast she could have sworn it was going straight out of her chest. It was almost like she couldn’t breathe. She had talked to the doctor about this last month. She frantically racked her brain trying to counteract what she was beginning to feel, lest she break down in public.

 

_‘Take a deep breath.’_

Yeonwoo remembered all of a sudden. She inhaled and took in a long deep breath through her nostrils, silently repeating the process until she could feel air filling her lungs again. Once she had composed herself,  she ended up blankly staring at the lane in front of her, her practice all forgotten…trying her best to not let her thoughts once again race to wander in the deepest and darkest recesses of her mind.

 

“Noona?” a deep velvety voice called from behind, breaking her reverie

 

“Huh?” she looked up to see Jaehyun, with all his belongings already packed in his bag. He looked like he was already headed off.

 

“The time for your lane is up. And the coach already went ahead.”

 

‘How long was I gone for…?’ she pondered to herself

 

“Noona…are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“Huh? Yeah, no, don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” She distractedly replied, slowly stuffing her gear into her bag, and changing back into her sneakers.

 

She noticed the boy walking away from the corner of her eye.

 

 When she was ready to leave, she was quite surprised to see her old schoolmate standing all alone by the exit. She couldn’t help but as “Oh, are you waiting for someone?”

 

He lightly scratched the back of his head “If you have five minutes to spare, noona, can you follow me for a bit? I swear it won’t take long. And you can stay about a couple of meters behind me so uh… _people_ won’t talk”

 

  Yeonwoo quirked her brow ‘What could this be about…?’ She knew it could potentially spell trouble, but the Valentine Boy had such a pristine reputation. She decided to go along with it, muttering a slight “Okay”

 

After putting on their respective masks and caps, Jaehyun walked out the building.

 

The older girl gave him a two minute lead before shortly following. She saw him turn to a corner, and enter an establishment’s door. Yeonwoo narrowed her eyes, she couldn’t see what the establishment was, but out of curiosity decided to follow through. She opened the door, to see his broad back facing her. He turned around and gently smiled at her with his eyes, as she found herself in “…an animal shelter?” she inquired as she pulled down her mask to her chin.

 

He nodded as he scanned the shelter. The shelter attendant was nowhere to be seen, so they were all alone there together, save for some cats and dogs behind glass panes He slightly pulled his mask down to be able to speak clearly “Yeah, just have a look around”

 

Yeonwoo’s dad had just brought a new puppy home. They had been slowly starting on mending their relationship, especially in the last few months. And although the effort was appreciated, part of her still had trouble putting her faith 100% in her father. Her eyes roamed around the area with the felines until one Balinese cat caught her attention. It seemed rather surprised that their eyes met and jumped back, having a comically astonished look on its face. Yeonwoo couldn’t help but break out in her signature comically bizarre nasally laughter.

 

Jaehyun let out a soft smile as he looked at her. How amused she looked now was a far cry from the lost, and almost seemingly empty shell he found earlier. He looked away, choosing to stare at the dogs as he trailed “You know, noona? You don’t have to keep it all in…”

 

Yeonwoo shot him a questioning look. But she was sharp enough to understand that her old school junior had brought her here to raise her spirits. She didn’t really need to say anything. It’s not like he deserved an explanation. They weren’t really friends, and they were barely even acquaintances, but she somehow found herself stripping down fragments of her soul to him “It’s funny you say that, because that’s all I ever do…”

 

He tilted his head to the side in curiosity

 

“I’m the second eldest in the group, but the youngest in my family…and it’s hard having to adjust sometimes. Like I’m one of the unnies in the group, you know? I need to have it together. Or else, what good am I as an unnie to our maknaes?” she squatted down so she was closer to the floor

 

Jaehyun slightly nodded, motioning for her to continue.

 

“And most of the time, I can’t help but feel so dark and hopeless. And I don’t even know why, but lately everything has just seemed so bleak...almost as if things would never get better again.” She lightly pressed her hand against the glass, the Balinese slowly coming up to her

 

He looked at her so intently it was as if he was hanging on her every word.

 

“I know it probably sounds dumb, but there are times when I feel like the entire world doesn’t understand” the Balinese pressed its paw against the glass, right over her palm “and that no one else ever could. But then being in the company of them...especially this little guy over here…it really helps me feel better.”

 

The corner of the Valentine Boy’s lips gently curled up.

 

“I feel like it’s just what I needed.” She thoughtfully sighed, before slowly craning her head to give him a sincere smile “Thank you.”

 

His curled lips spread into a wide grin, showing off his infamous dimples “It’s no trouble at all, noona.”

 

For some reason, something in her chest lifted a bit, and her smile broke wider as well

 

“You know, noona, I remember you used to sport a bob cut from when we were still in SOPA” Jaehyun then crossed his arms, closing his eyes and nodding as if to signify agreeing with himself “…and I just want to tell you that you look good with your long hair.” He then opened his eyes, beaming as he sincerely said to her “But you look even better when you smile.”

 

Yeonwoo couldn’t help but let out a light hearted giggle as she playfully punched his shoulder with a half closed fist.

 

It didn’t really take long for his deep chuckle to join in.

 

When she stopped giggling, she glanced at him earnestly “I know you probably hear this a lot, but…you’re very kind.”

 

He lightly scratched the back of his head, looking away to avoid her gaze “Nah…don’t think about it too much, Noona. It’s nothing really. I’m just kind of used to hearing all of the other boys’ troubles over at my group, that it’s become really easy for me to sense when something’s bothering other people. So yeah…”

 

“Mmm.” She hummed lightly as she listened along

 

He just put his hands in his jacket pockets and sheepishly smiled away.

 

It suddenly reminded her of how easy to tease and bashful the boy was. A naughty thought then crossed her mind “Hey…Do you like me?”

 

Jaehyun’s head couldn’t snap back faster enough to meet her eyes “I—” he felt all the blood run to his ears as they turned red.

 

Yeonwoo couldn’t help but laugh so hard it hurt her stomach “I’m just kidding!!! You don’t have to take it so seriously!”

 

The boy couldn’t muster any more words and ended up gesturing his hands helplessly towards her.

 

As her laughter died down, she wiped a few tears forming at the corner of her eyes “But really, Jaehyun…thank you for this.”

 

He just tried (and failed) to repress a smile as he looked at her in response “Oh, yeah, do you want to look into that cat friend you just made over there?”

 

“Yeah, but no one’s at the counter”

 

“Ah don’t worry about it. I think I know where the attendant went. I come here sometimes, and I notice that she usually goes on a short break to eat some fish cake at the next block. I can call her on my way out, that way, uh… _people_ probably wouldn’t be too suspicious about us leaving together…with a pet…” he trailed

 

“Sounds like a plan”

 

“Alright” he pulled his mask back up as he nodded, his muffled voice saying “See you around, noona.”

 

“Yeah…oh and uh, Jaehyun?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

She extended her hand out to him “Excuse the roughness and hard planes of my potentially callused hand, but I just want to tell you…you’re a good man.”

 

His eyes smiled as his hand met hers, as he gave it a firm shake “Thank you, noona” he pulled down his mask slightly once again, before turning away just to tell her “And those calluses you have on your hand?”

 

“Yeah?” she raised a brow

 

“Be proud of them. They’re proof of your hard work.” He looked just like those dashing prince in movies, exiting with a smile so bright, it could give the sun a run for its money.

 

And here she thought she was more radiant than the sun. Yeonwoo felt a little heat creeping up her cheeks as she looked away. She could’ve sworn she felt her heart skip a beat. But she decided to pretend that it didn’t happen at all.

 

It didn’t take long for the attendant to come back, she seemed like a nice middle aged lady “Ah, the handsome young man who always drops by said that there was someone inquiring about one of the cats?”

 

“Ah yes, it’s me. Uhm, I was wondering if I could adopt that cat” she pointed at the funny looking Balinese cat

 

“Ah yes, I’ll just need you to sign some forms. And we can set a date for you to bring him home”

 

“Alright, that sounds good…and uh miss, can I just know a little bit about it?”

 

“Oh yes. Its name is Pringle, it’s about 5 years old now. That one’s a fighter, that it is” the attendant smiled with a hint of pride

 

It gave Yeonwoo a new sense of hope. If this cat could continue to carry on despite its dire circumstances, so would she. And it made her think of her own birth and situation, her brain even wandering off to think about her western astrological symbol. And then it hit her “Uh miss, would it be okay if I gave Pringle a new name?”

 

“Oh sure, sweetie. What would you like to call it from now on?”

 

It was to be her source of strength, a symbol of her rebirth “I want to name it…Leo.”

 

\----------

 

_03 January 2019, Roxy Cinema_

 

Yeonwoo was in a good mood. She had just shared pictures of Leo to her fans, and they all seemed to adore him. It had only been a few days, but Leo had really become key in helping her cope, as her furry companion consistently alleviated her of her stress and anxieties. She hadn’t really had an…episode as soon as Leo had returned with her. And although she hadn’t exactly been as chummy as she used to be with the other girls in the group, she found that it was a bit easier to socialize with them again.

 

She was all set and ready to do the press conference scheduled for the day until she realized who she would be seated next to behind the table.

 

_Nancy._

‘Fuck.’ Yeonwoo had forgotten that Jane wasn’t feeling too well after landing in Dubai. Leaving the photographer’s roommate to be the one seated right next to her for the panel. She tried to assure herself ‘It’s fine, Dabin. Just don’t look at her. Just engage with the host and fans. Yeah, that’s it. You’ll be fine.’

 

What she told herself had proved very difficult to actually do considering she always saw the younger girl in her peripheral vision. She was just glad she didn’t really have to answer any questions for the press conference, because her mind was a mess at that moment.

 

Every time she caught a glimpse of Nancy her heart ached. She swore that girl would be the death of her. The young American was like a clear shot of vodka. Something that seemed totally harmless, until you took it in and it would light up your entire body. The younger girl always set a fire in her that was all-consuming…Yeonwoo would feel every inch of her skin burning at the mere thought of Nancy…she was so sure it would eat her alive.

 

She felt an attack creeping up, so she tried to drown out her thoughts by thinking of Leo…but her mind wandered to the boy who led her to her feline friend.  And she couldn’t shake off how he calmed her. He was someone who was reliable. He was someone who could be a realistic option. He was someone who was safe.  He was probably as soothing as a warm glass of milk before going to bed. The thought made her smile slightly as she waved to another fan in the audience.

 

But as comforting as the thought of being with someone like Jaehyun was…Dabin knew deep down that Nancy’s name was still the one her heart beat to.

 

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even notice the girl who had been running through her mind trying to pass her the microphone.

 

\----------

 

_08 January 2019, the dorms_

 

Yeonwoo had come home from practicing in the dance studio to an empty dorm. She figured the rest of the girls had gone on to visit Hyebin in the hospital as she was still recovering from dislocating her ankle from a bad fall off of her skateboard a couple of days ago. Thinking she was all alone in the dorm, she mindlessly started taking off her winter jacket, then her sweater, leaving a trail of messy clothes along the common area as she made her way to her room. ‘I’ll clean that up later after a nice little power nap…’ She thought carelessly, pulling her base layer past her head as she entered her room

 

Only to be greeted by the sight of their maknae seated on her bed, gawking at Yeonwoo’s exposed flesh.

 

The older girl suddenly pulled the thermal layer back down to cover whatever her sports bra didn’t. She narrowed her eyes as she asked “What are you doing here?”

 

“Unnie…it’s just been a while already since we’ve properly talked about…” Nancy couldn’t find the proper words to describe whatever was going on between her and her beloved senior, so she moved her hands back and forth in between them “…this.”

 

Yeonwoo didn’t answer the younger girl, choosing to make a beeline to her closet instead. She grabbed a fleece pullover hoodie to make herself more decent. Once she turned to glance at their maknae, she furrowed her brows at her “Stop looking at me like that”

 

“Like what?” Nancy tilted her head to the side with an earnest stare

 

Yeonwoo pinched the bridge of her nose as she shut her eyes, choosing to have her head face her toes “Like…I’m the only thing you could ever see”

 

“I— I’m sorry…” the younger girl trailed, averting her gaze to the closed fist she had formed with her right hand “I just don’t know how else to look at you” she meekly replied, her voice drenched in melancholy.

 

The older girl let out a frustrated sigh “Aren’t you sick of me? Of this?!”

 

The American had moved her left hand to reach for the older girl’s right

 

Yeonwoo pulled her hand back before the younger girl could even properly hold onto it. She kept her eyes downcast as she tilted her head to the side, grumbling as she said “You know you could have it so much better with someone else who would be more suited to you.”

 

Nancy’s lips set into a grim line. She had been so patient in trying to accommodate Dabin’s need of a break. In fact, she had given the older girl all the space in the world. But she knew that Yeonwoo was just being excessively unreasonable at this point. All those months had taken its toll on her and now, she was beyond livid. “So are you really just going to pretend that you weren’t making eyes with Jaehyun yesterday at ISAC when you thought I wasn’t paying attention?” venom started to coat her words “Not to mention you let Hana basically climb your body like a fucking tree…” before spitting out “but you flinch at my touch and can’t even bear to look at me?!”

 

The older girl was stunned as she turned her head to face the younger girl, but was at a complete loss on what to say. So she ended up slipping out words she hadn’t even really thought about “Why are you so mad anyway? It’s not like you were ever even my girlfriend.” It was technically true…they never really put a label on their relationship.

 

“Are…are you fucking kidding me?” Nancy let out a bitter laugh “I really can’t believe you right now.”

 

Yeonwoo chose to stare back in silence this time…trying not to let all the guilt she was feeling creep up to her face.

 

Nancy’s eyes moistened despite her scowl “Did you ever even really love me? What was I to you, really? Was I just some convenient booty call to you until you could find someone else to scratch your itches?”

 

The older girl wasn’t quite sure what to say. She wanted to be more careful with her words and didn’t want to give the younger girl another shitty series of word vomit.

 

The American tightly squeezed her eyes shut as her brows furrowed even deeper into each other, tears escaping her lashes as she barked out “ANSWER ME, DAMNIT!!!”

 

Yeonwoo wanted nothing more than to just wrap the young girl in a tight embrace and kiss those tears away…but she held back. She couldn’t keep putting her heart over her mind anymore.

 

The younger girl opened her eyes, her look pleading—no, begging the older girl for an acceptable reason “Don’t I deserve at least this much?”

 

The statuesque beauty took a seat at the foot of her bed for support. Once again finding her toes to be the most interesting thing to look at, before carefully starting “I…I avoid you because your touch burns holes into my skin.”

 

Their maknae gave her a confused look.

 

“Because I can’t forget…” she looked up to stare Nancy straight in the eyes “I can never forget.”

 

They younger girl peered her eyes at the raven-haired beauty.

 

“I’ve mapped every inch of your skin, and memorized the curve of your body.” She looked away due to all the shame she had felt “You don’t know how much I’ve had to hold back from just pushing you against the wall, how many times I’ve held myself back from ravishing you until nothing comes out of your mouth but my name in a prayer of senseless whimpers.” Her vision had started to become hazy “Every time your hand grazes mine, you don’t know how badly I want to just hold onto it and never let it go.” Tears had begun freely falling past her cheeks as she continued “And you don’t know how badly I wanted to close all the spaces in between us.”

 

Nancy’s eyes, cheeks and nose had been painted red by her crying.

 

Yeonwoo restrained herself from enveloping her arms around her beloved, choosing to squeeze her fingers around her thighs “And I curse myself for wanting that every single day. Because I wish I didn’t have to need you. But I do…”

 

The brunette had to use her sleeve to wipe away all the tears that wouldn’t stop coming down, her sniffling and deep sighs becoming more frequent.

 

“You weren’t just some booty call…” she placed her hand over the fabric against her chest “I love you.” Her fingers wrapped around the fleece and clutched onto it “You…are the love of my life. But I know that I’m not what you need. I can’t give you what you want. I can’t give you the happiness you deserve. And I know I will never be good enough.”

 

“You don’t get to decide that for me.” Nancy firmly spoke back

 

“Have you ever even stopped to think about the backlash we’d have to face if ever we got caught? Just think about all the repercussions! We have a responsibility that extends beyond just ourselves. We still have to think of the group, the company, our fans, our families! And you _know_ society won’t react to it kindly.” Yeonwoo sternly lectured “We’re not in the US, Nancy. People won’t come cheering us on with rainbow flags if we ever got outted. Can you tell me you’d be sincerely happy with having to hide in the shadows forever?”

 

“We can think of something—”  


“Stop being so naïve! You _know_ that’s not how it works! You and I are going to be crucified! And have you even begun to think how that would affect everyone around us?!”

 

“Can you just shut up for 5 seconds and think about what you really want?!” Nancy shouted back “Not what the company wants, not what the other girls want, not about what our family, our fans, the media or the public wants! Just think about what you fucking want!!!”

 

The older girl had been stunned into silence.

 

“Because I know what want, Dabin…” The American stared into Yeonwoo’s soul with pure conviction “and that’s you.”

 

Yeonwoo felt her heart pound wildly against her chest as the younger girl continued.

 

“And I don’t know how convoluted everything is in your head already. But for me, it’s always been really simple” Nancy smiled through her tears “I choose you. I will always choose you. In any other universe or version of reality, I would still pick you. And there’s nothing you could do to ever change that.” She brushed the tears away once more “If you wanted to, you could run away with me. We can leave this all behind.”

 

Looking into the younger girl’s eyes made her realize just how much love Nancy held for her. And as much as she wanted to love her back, just escape and forget everything, she knew she wasn’t worth of any of it. She knew the younger girl deserved better things in this life. The younger girl could do so much better than a damaged person…the American warranted more than someone who was a broken soul. Yeonwoo believed Nancy deserved a love that could be celebrated by her family, her friends, her fans, and the public. And she knew a future with her just wouldn’t cut it. But despite knowing all of this, it couldn’t keep her heart from falling apart when she came in for the inevitable letdown “It’s over...”

 

The American could only stare back in shock

 

“…for good this time.” She lied through her teeth to keep the younger girl’s future secure “I don’t want to be with you again. Not now. Not ever.”

 

“Come on Dabin…” the younger girl nervously laughed as she tried to reason “It’s so easy for you to say that you don’t want this anymore, but have ever really even thoroughly thought about it?”

 

Yeonwoo raised a brow at her “What do you think I’ve been doing over the past two months?”

 

“If you can wait 'til I can think of something better, please just hold on” she stepped forward and put her left hand over the older girl’s right “I swear, I know that we can make this last.”

 

“I can’t give you what you need. And even if you mean the world to me…I can’t make you go through any of that” Yeonwoo closed her eyes once more as tears painted her cheeks “We’re through. We’re done. This all ends tonight”

 

 “Is this really happening?” Nancy glared at the older girl in disbelief “I swear…I’ll never be happy again.”

 

“Stop being such a kid, will you? You will…you’ve still got your entire life ahead of you, and you’ll find that happiness in someone so much better than me. And look, it’s not like we’re gonna be out of each other’s lives forever, you know we can still be—”

 

“Don’t you dare say it” the younger girl warned

 

“—friends” Yeonwoo defiantly completed her sentence anyway.

Nancy’s face fell, as she retracted her hand and stood back.

 

“We knew this was inevitable from the beginning…it was my fault that I allowed it to start and let it go on for as long as it did…” All Yeonwoo really wanted to tell Nancy was that being away from the younger girl made her feel like part of her died. That she knew if she ever lost the brunette, she would probably lose her fucking mind. But what came out was instead “Just go on and do everything you want to…don’t let me hold you back. Don't think, just do.”

 

The American shook her head before letting out a scream of frustration, pulling her hand back and intensely threw what looked like crumpled paper onto the floor. Her wretched sobs echoed away as she stormed off.

 

Yeonwoo didn’t stop Nancy as the younger girl walked away from her room, from their dorm…from her life.

 

…

 

“SHIT!!!” Yeonwoo threw a heavy punch onto her bed, growling out in frustration as she had started to break down. She pushed her eyes against the heels of her palms as she allowed herself the scream out all the pain she held inside her heart.

 

 

 

She cried so hard that she felt like her eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.

 

 

 

Yeonwoo’s chest heaved as she tried to steady her shaky breaths. She rubbed her sleeves roughly against her face, attempting to remove any trace of tears. She saw the paper again from the corner of her eye, and picked it up. It was wrinkly, and looked like it had been folded into odd angles before opening up. It looked like it was supposed to be an origami crane.

 

The raven haired girl noticed some ink on the paper, and decided to open it up...

 

 

 

It was a letter

 

 

 

_Hey, Dabin!_

_Surprise!!! I’ve actually started to fold paper one paper crane every day, since the day I realized how much you meant to me, which was funnily enough, on my sweet sixteen. And I know that things between us aren’t exactly the best right now, but I just want to tell you how much I miss just hanging out with you…I wish I could spend more time with you. I love you so much…I’m so happy that I’ve spent the last 1000 days loving you. They say you get a wish if you fold a thousand paper cranes. Right now, I wish for the day when you’ll allow me back into your life to love you with all I am again. I for one, can’t wait ‘til that day comes._

_With All My Love,_

_Nancy_

 

 

 

 Yeonwoo turned back to see what she had been so distracted to notice all along. A waterfall of different colored paper cranes adorning the corner of her walls.


End file.
